42333
This is getting to be far too much of a habit and is hampering the Carriage Capture no end. Jumped aboard the 17:49 again and innocently sat in Carriage B only to find out I was in this very same carriage only 2 days ago when it was masquerading as the 17:33 service.
So unfortunately I cannot tell you all about the “little man armrest hogger” who sat by me to Maidenhead and I cannot tell you all about the bloke in Ain’t Half Hot Mum shorts who say by me to Reading.
What I can tell you about is the ranging hurricane of a tweet war which has become known as #cupgate because it was still going on by the time I reached Reading and boarded Carriage E (42333) on the 18:37 Frome Service.
Basically to cut a long story short, it is possible to get a free cup of hot water from a FGW on-board café providing the following criteria are all fulfilled:
- The water is for one of the following reasons:
- Warming baby food
- Taking medication
- Assisting with childbirth
- Creating a rainforest atmosphere for 1st Class Passengers
- Washing smalls
- All cups must be accounted for by:
- Being signed for in triplicate
- Having the serial number of the cup tattooed in your armpit
- A signed waiver from both parents an at least 3 grandparents
- Electronic receipt from Marky Mark’s butler
- Under no circumstances must the water be used for:
- Brewing tea
- Holding under the air con sensor so it actually turns on
- The benefit and comfort of Standard Class Passengers
It’s worth noting that 1st Class Passengers as well as being entitled to as much hot water as their colostomy bags can handle, can also partake of hot unicorn’s blood served in a gem encrusted griffin’s skull (on production of 1st Class Ticket only.)
See you tomorrow……..
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