42060 – 18:03 Monday 30th March

42060

Carriage E on the 18:03 Penzance service.

There’s nothing more to really say. I even got both seats to myself and slept like a new born baby whilst looking like a dribbling old fart.

42027 – 18:37 Tuesday 6th January

42027

I must have secretly have asked for some on-time trains for Christmas as once again everything was running more or less to clockwork and rather empty to boot.

Alas the train to Reading was a duplicate but Carriage D, 42027, on the 18:37 to Frome was a new one in the book.

Hurrah!

42281 & 42175 – 18:03 & 18:37 Monday 5th January

42281 & 42175

A new year but not a new blog I’m afraid so it’s back in the saddle for some more FGW Carriage focused fun.

And to be honest it was quite fun today. Firstly all the trains were on time and secondly the 18:03 Penzance service (in which I sat in 42281 Carriage B) was as deserted as Katie Hopkins’s Christmas card list.

When we pulled into Reading, the 5 people who were sat in the carriage with me all got off, leaving a totally empty carriage rattling down the line to Taunton.

Deserted 42281

Alas, 42175, Carriage B on the 18:37 Frome service was rather fuller with far far too many #BagSeatWankers for my liking.

But………..and this is the important thing……….everything was running as smoothly as Ollie’s baby face and I just know this will continue all year. Yes?

40703 – 17:15 Friday 19th December

40703

Today saw the last day of commuting for 2014 but not the last train travel day as I’ve got my excursion to Cornwall for Christmas to endure next week. But that will be in 1st Class so be ready to tune in for some free coffee high-jinks as the BGC and Son set off on a hilarious rail-trip which promises pretty much to be a remake of the 1976 classic Likely Lads film.

So anyway I was on the 17:15 to Carmarthen and I took the opportunity to stand in Carriage K again and claim another ½ buffet ½ 1st carriage for the book in the name of 40703.

But the real excitement happened on the 18:12 Turbo train from Reading to home. Now just for the record, I want to state that I never do any of the following:

• Put my bag on the seat.
• Put my coat on the seat.
• Sit on the aisle seat to block the window seat.
• Sit on an angle trying to make out my legs are too long.

I know that @Slowpokesam has a photo of me with my feet on a seat somewhere but in my defence that was after a long heavy days “shopping” in Bath and I was feeling extremely tired and emotional at the time.

Anyway I got about the Turbo and sat on a window seat whilst all four of the seats around me were filled with folk doing any number of the above examples of rude behaviour. One bloke had his legs so wide apart it was almost as if he was indicating he had testicles the size of space hoppers.

So then this other chaps gets on, looks around for the seat and plonks himself next to me, which isn’t entirely unexpected as obviously compared to the other twats around me am I the easy option….although again I have to point out that there was hardly a shortage of spare seats elsewhere.
But he doesn’t just plonk himself down, he shuffles and squeezes and itches closer and wiggles and eventually says (in an Aussie accent) “Hey mate, can ya not move any close to the window?”

Now I’m hardly the Slimcea girl but I’m also not Giant Haystacks and what really riled me was this guy was just picking on the easiest target in the carriage. Yeah let’s not ask the bloke with the scars and the beanie hat to move his bag or the woman with crutches to shuffle over to the window seat, no let’s pick on little chubby speccy boy and try to flex our antipodean muscles.

Well anyway he soon recognised a friend and left me in peace to read the copy of Angling Mail I’d found and generally lick my wounds. But he got off at Theale and was wearing a red anorak. So if you know him just let him know he’s a tit and he made me feel like shit…….

Thank fuck it was the Christmas Double Issue

44001 – 13:00 Thursday 18th December

44001

A half day finish at work saw me getting a very early 13:00 train to Bristol Temple Meads and sitting in 44001, which is a Carriage A and no doubt the “first” of all Carriage A’s.

But apart from commenting that midday quiet carriages seem more noisy than rush hour ones, not a lot else happened.

Sorry.

#FGWSnowGlobe

42364 – 17:45 Tuesday 16th December

42364

Tonight I travelled in 42364 on the 18:37 to Frome. It was a Carriage C.

Here endeth today’s installment of War & Peace.

42567 & 42514 – 09:34 & 18:37 Tuesday 9th December

42567 & 42514

Another day of disruption and freezing nuts on windswept platforms as signals at Theale decided to prevent any trains leaving from Newbury for the morning.

By the time I’d called Mrs BGC into service and got a lift into Reading, I was just in time to sit in Carriage E, 42567, on the 09:34 to Paddington.

The disruption on the way home at least had a comic element as the 18:37 Frome was delayed by a wild swan on the line. I stood in another Carriage E, 42514 and chortled myself to death over possibly the finest swan related tweet ever.

Watch out Jimmy Carr

40221 – 17:45 Monday 8th December

40221

Eh? What’s that BGC, that don’t look like a normal door number?

And you’d be right, sort of. It’s the number from one of those nailed shut doors in the buffet carriage, and on this occasion, one of the ½ 1st Class – ½ Buffet carriages which just have to have sprung from the imagination of a sadistic mad-man.

Regular readers of this column, (Yes, you. Talking to you.) will know this isn’t my usual haunt so by now will be suspecting something untoward has happened on today’s journey. And again, you’d be absolutely correct in that today was another one of those travelling fiascoes that reduce dedicated commuters to tears and made FGW shrug and call it a “void day”.

Far too boring to go into the details of what went and what was going wrong but suffice it to say that the evening journey home saw me with my beautiful face squished up against the door in the picture as several hundred other commuters tried to purchase over-priced tea and coffee from the buffet bar behind me.

On the plus side this saw me take a good snap of 40221 on the 17:45 to Swansea, but on the down side I didn’t notice if this was a Carriage F, or one that’s been rebadged into a M or a K or something…..Ho Hum.

Still I’ll finish on a high note and tell you that BGC here, him with the squished but still beautiful face, went into full-on knight on white charger mode when he redirected a fair maiden from getting on the 19:12 Reading-to-Newbury and told her to instead get the 19:03 which would see her into Newbury much quicker. I’d have redirected her to ask one of the many Reading Station Staff but alas they were all busy warming themselves round the infra-red warming lamps by the barriers. Even that wasn’t putting a smile on their collective sour, miserable, unwelcoming, glum, hang-dog faces.

42138 – 17:49 Monday 27th November

42138

After last night’s huge saga tonight’s episode is much shorter but no any less interesting.

I caught the 18:05 Frome service at Reading tonight (5 minutes late as usual) and entered Carriage D only to be greeted by a Carriage C layout (you know the one, the one with the disabled toilet which is always out of order.)

So now of course I don’t know whether to log this as a Carriage D (to match the outside stickers) or a Carriage C (to match the inside stickers.)

I mean how am I going to get to sleep tonight?

42289 & 40106 – 18:00 Monday 24th November & 18:00 Wednesday 26th November

42289 & 40106

A belated post I know and I can only apologise to my hoards of readers who no doubt were devastated to slog through their working weeks without an update on the good old Carriage Capture.
My excuses are pathetic but to make up for the delay please accept this slightly longer missive which discusses a very important subject and one that might provoke some debate amongst the waiting rooms of the Thames Valley.

So firstly let’s get the boring carriage stuff out the way with and report that I caught the 18:00 Bristol Service on Monday night and sat in 42289 which is a Carriage B. The journey was pretty mundane with no interesting commuting characters to provide any points of interest and it even was more or less on time, if you don’t count the odd couple of minutes here and there, which First Great Western doesn’t.

The final stage of my journey home was aboard a duplicate carriage although there was at least one point of interest……but more of that later.

Similarly on Wednesday I caught the same service but sat in 40106 which is a Carriage F and wrestled the arm rest with a bloke with a pony tail and a pocket watch.

So now you’ve all had the chance to note these numbers down in your little black books of carriage numbers, sit back in your seats (or stand leaning awkwardly against a seat trying not to disturb the snoring bloke in the actual seat) and let’s get on to the main topic!

The main thing I want to tell you is that I got a reply to a recent issue I brought to the attention of FGW’s Customer Service team. Those who follow the amazing, amusing and absolutely pointless @BGCollector Twitter Account may recall a tweet I sent at the end of last week where I commented on how funny (funny strange, not funny funny) it was that the Train Manager on the 18:05 to Frome Service apologised for the overcrowding, mentioned this was due to the train being short-formed but didn’t actually do anything about it, like declassifying First Class for example. This train stops at Twyford, where the masses of Twyfordonians all disembark, limping off up the platform like animals being released from Noah’s Arc, so the declassification would be minimal at most and therefore would be of minimal cost to the mounds of Marky “Smaug” Hopwood’s gold booty.

So after a quick exchange of emails with everyone’s favourite hairy badger, otherwise known as Leo on FGW’s Twitter (@FGW) I decided to log a comment with the FGW Customer Relations goblins who inhabit the Citadel of Desperation somewhere down near Plymouth. I must admit my enquiry was wordy, I mean why use ten words when you can use a hundred and ten, but if you could be bothered to wade your way through the drivel that I wrote you would see it all boiled down to two questions I was asking:

• Wouldn’t it be better if FGW HQ issued a directive to all Train Manager’s as to the circumstances when they should declassify first?
• If not, and they want to keep the power to declassify with the TMs, why did this particular TM feel it ok to apologise but not to declassify? I mean what’s the point of having the power if you’re never going to use it.

Well on Monday I got a lengthy reply back from a very prettily named goblin and less I be accused of putting words in her pretty little mouth I bring to you here, in full, the reply she sent to me.

Thank you for your email received 19 November 2014 regarding your journey from London Paddington to Frome on the same date.

I’m very sorry to learn of your uncomfortable journey and I understand your frustration at having to stand in crowded conditions when there may be seats available in First Class. 

I understand the 18:05 service was short formed and can confirm this after checking our records. We hadn’t planned this change in advance and therefore had no opportunity to let passengers know and not enough time to arrange for replacement carriages. This sort of incident has greatly reduced in recent years due to all the work we’ve done to improve our rolling stock but we can’t prevent it completely and I do appreciate how frustrating it can be.

We trust our Train Managers to make the correct decision in these circumstances. Safety is our number one priority and we would never operate a train that we felt put our passengers and staff at risk. The role of our train crew is safety-critical. They know how to monitor and manage passenger loadings, and they will take action if they feel it is necessary. This is not however dependent on a set number of seated or standing passengers as the Health and Safety Executive guidelines do not restrict the number of passengers allowed on any one train.

Where possible we must always try to avoid declassifying our services, due to the fact that we advertise a First Class service and therefore endeavour to retain it. The option is available to the Train Manager as an absolute last resort but is only enforced in extreme circumstances where it is otherwise unavoidable.

Please be assured I have logged your comments regarding this and they may be used in our next monthly review.

Thank you once again for contacting me. I hope any future journeys with us are much more enjoyable.

Yours sincerely

Miss Pretty Goblin
Customer Services Advisor

Now firstly I want to make it clear that I greatly appreciate the answer and I make the comment that it took just 3 working days to actually receive the response, which measured against previous FGW performance in this area is pretty damn smoking, so credit where it’s begrudgingly due, well done FGW for this.

But that said (and of course there’s a “that said”) none of the explanation actually addresses the points I was after. Let’s leave aside her claims that short formed trains are a rarity due to “all the work we’ve done to improve our rolling stock” which I’m sorry to say just isn’t true and also not make any judgement on the exciting prospect that my comments “may be used in our next monthly review” but we have to address the fact that it seems FGW are simply unwilling to declassify First Class.

I’m also still puzzled over the weasel words with reference to over-crowding. Whenever any loyal paying passengers takes FGW to task over over-crowded conditions on the network the first response that seems to come back is one along the lines of “there are no limits to the number of people we’re allowed to cram into one of our delightful 1970s rolling stock so stop your yapping people!” yet here they seem to be saying that safety is the number one priority and that “The role of our train crew is safety-critical. They know how to monitor and manage passenger loadings, and they will take action if they feel it is necessary” yet they somehow feel a passenger is no safer sat down than if they are straddling the joints of two carriages with their buttocks being squeezed by that really horrible rubbery bit? I mean can this really be true? Has anyone any actual facts to back these claims up? I know the railway apologists will soon be out, if they bother to read this pap, saying how it’s just as safe to be slammed up against the toilet door with a Brompton pedal imprinting into your nose as it is to be sharing a table seat with Carol Decker from T’Pau (did you know she’s touring again soon?) and they’ll probably also remind me in the first place that I should just be grateful that FGW are good enough to allow me to move freely around the country without informing the land-owner of my manor……..but they can’t never seem to actually prove this point with any evidence when challenged.

But even then the safety point can also be left aside and it still leaves me unable to fathom out why FGW just won’t take positive action for the benefit of their passengers especially when it means a cost to their profits, because I can think of no other reason why they wouldn’t want to do this. “We must always try to avoid declassifying our services, due to the fact that we advertise a First Class service and therefore endeavour to retain it” says Miss Goblin, but nowhere in that statement does it address the “why” part of the original question.

And if you’ll allow me just one more final head-scratching moment, let’s leave the declassifying point behind because there is the element of compensation and cost here, why won’t they do the free stuff that would make such a difference to the journeys of so many passengers. The great refurbishment program, converting First Class Carriages to Standard Class ones, which they love to trumpet about, singing from the rooftops as part of their “Greater Western” promotion (just remember kids, it’s the Department of Transport who’s paying for this not lovely Marky Mark dipping his very short arms into his very long pockets) could be introduced overnight by slapping a couple of stickers on the coaches up for refurbishment. Introduce these First Class carriages with their lovely comfy seats as Standard ones and hey presto, more people sat down for the duration of their journeys. Sure this will mean that some lucky sods get a more comfortable journey than usual for a while as the carriages rotate through the actual refurbishment process, but is this such a bad thing? And if you’re worried that it will piss off the First Classers too much then stick the carriages at the other end of the train and don’t go within a country mile of it with the complimentary trolley.

This on-going question of declassifying First Class has even come to the attention of Reading MP Alok Sharma (@AlokSharma_RDG) but if this is the sort of answer FGW are going to come back with if and when he challenges them about it, he’s going to need all his very best politician direct answering skills (I’m very glad you asked me that question but of course the real point is <insert question you actually want to answer>) to get anything useful from them.

Unfortunately Alok isn’t my own MP so I can’t really badger him for progress on this point. My MP is the supposed richest one in parliament, a certain Richard Benyon (@RichardBenyonMP), so we’ve obviously got stacks in common and you can often catch us chatting on the Turbo back to Theale although strangely he never seems to want to travel as far as Thatcham…….

So there you have it, in short it seems to be a statement of “We could do something about it, but we won’t.” Just think of all the time you could have saved if you’d jumped to this line instead of reading all the piffle beforehand?

And finally, let’s wrap up with the exciting carriage news that happened on Monday!

Here’s a dachshund travelling on the 18:05 to Frome! Wasn’t that worth the wait Grant!

All complaints to the usual address where they will be promptly ignored.

42576 – 18:03 Monday 18th November

42576

We got to the station my bag and me,

Got on the train at platform three.

I got a seat in the mix.

In Carriage 42576.

Which was in the coach with letter E.

I really am wasted doing this..........

42273 & 42276 – 09:07 & 19:13 Saturday 15th November

42273 & 42276

What’s this? The BGC out and about on a Saturday?

Well, to be frank, yes I was and not just me. I was joined on this weekend jaunt by a veritable rag tag bunch of reprobates who all have a tenuous connection to the West Berkshire branch of the Campaign for Real Ale - @WBCAMRA.

I have no doubt the trip will be covered in much more detail by everyone’s favourite train nerd, @SlowpokeSam in his superb Beer Branches blog, but you could probably sum it up in the succinct way the FGW Train Manager did when he checked our tickets on the way to Westbury.

“Off to Bath for the rugby then?”

“Nope.”

“Ah, drinking then?”

42773 – Carriage B on the 09:07 to Westbury

42276 – Carriage F on the 19:13 to Newbury

42566 – 18:03 Friday 14th November

42566

Well the most exciting thing to happen on the 18:03 Bristol Temple Meads service was that the bloke that sat next to me changed from his trainers to his brogues before sitting down and then ate a banana.

Oh yeah. It was all go in the 42566 Carriage E.

42300 – 18:03 Monday 10th November

42300

Oh it was all excitement on the Carriage Capture today, well actually it started on Friday when on my return to the homestead I found a large tube shaped package waiting for me.

Knowing that I hadn’t recently ordered anything recently from Amsterdam I was fairly confident that Mr @EverardsTiger had come up trumps and had fulfilled his promise to deliver a brand spanking new Everards Tiger brolly.

The brolly had his first trip to London today and took a leisurely journey back to Reading on the 18:03 Truro Service where he sat, with me, in Carriage E or 42300.

He also leapt aboard 42050, Carriage B on the 18:37 Frome but unfortunately this was a duplicate from the 24th of October.

42050 (again)

But even this couldn’t take the shine of a rather good day. Just a pity it didn’t actually rain!

42144 & 42266 – 18:03 & 18:37 Monday 3rd November

42144 & 42266

It was (another) awful day for the trains again. (I’m sure I’ve started a blog entry with that line before?)

Anyway what made the disturbance all the more poignant today was this was my first day back to the grindstone after a wonderful sunny week away on a sundrenched beach – I kid you not, it was November but even the BGC got his shirt off much to the delight of the locals.

The journey home was slightly better (signalling between Ealing & Hayes and Harlington anyone?) on the 18:03 Penzance Service travelling in Carriage E, 42144 and then onto the 18:37 Frome where I perched on another one of the folding seats in Carriage C, 42266.

And in other news I did get a phone call from FGW to confirm that it’s been 14 days since my @EverardsTiger beer umbrella was reported lost and it hasn’t turned up. So Mr Tiger, will you be true to your words?

42346 & 42050 – 17:49 & 18:37 Friday 24th October

42346 & 42050

It was (another) awful day for the trains again.

Broken down engines and signal failures on the way to work and broken down engines and more broken down engines on the way home.

But did this descend me into my usual state of apoplectic rage against FGW?

No, amazingly I remained in a cloudy of fluffy optimism and even spent the time chatting about Leo’s legs. (It’s a long story…..)

I wonder if it’s anything to do with the fact I now have 9 days stretching in front of me when the nearest I will get to a train is a plate of paella……?

P.S. For the spotters, it was 42346 Carriage E on the 17:49 Worcester Service and 42050, Carriage B on the 18:37 (well, 19:07) to Frome.

42258 & 42129 – 23:30 Wednesday 22nd October & 18:00 Thursday 23rd October

42258 & 42129

A very quick update as I’m tired and to be perfectly honest not a great deal worthy of note has happened.

Last night I caught the last train home, that being the 23:30 Swansea Service and sat in Carriage 42258, which as you’ll see from the photo was a carriage with the VOLO TVs. That means it should have been a Carriage D or perhaps a Carriage E but for some strange reason I think it was a Carriage B.

Tonight I was definitely aboard a Carriage E, namely 42129 on the 18:00 Bristol Service.

And that’s it, apart from saying hello to FGW’s new Twitter person, Anne (well I haven’t exchanged tweets with her before anyway) who is rather partial to red seat ears.

Red Seat Ears

42558 – 18:05 Monday 20th October

42558

Tragedy!

No, not the trains this time, they were running surprisingly on time and even though the 18:05 Frome Service had for some reason a smattering of kids about it (accompanied by posho mother who had obviously taught them to refer to bottled water as Evian) there was still room to get a cosy window seat in 42558, who was playing at being a Carriage E on this night.

No the tragedy was only discovered as I made my way home through the driving drizzle that’d I’d left my very favourite @EverardsTiger brolly aboard.

But all may not be lost, not only has @FGW Ollie given me the number for lost property but Everards themselves have tweeted back to say that if it’s not found they may be able to “sort something out”!

So it’s true, every rainy sky does have a silver lining!

42176 – 18:05 Monday 13th October

42176

Did you miss me?

Probably not but just when you can’t believe a week’s worth of travel can get worse than anything previously experienced something comes along which sets your mind at rest that there really isn’t a limit to the incompetence of some organisations.

@nationalrailenq looking directly in your direction.

So anyway onto this week which tonight was a leisurely return journey home inside 42176 which was playing a VOLO-less Carriage D on the 18:05 Frome Service.

42245 & 42070 – 18:03 & 18:37 Wednesday 1st October

42245 & 42070

Just when you thought you had all the possible excitement that the Carriage Capture could possibly deliver, along comes a journey that fair takes your breath away……or maybe not, but at least “something” happened today.

Firstly though, it was a very mundane 18:03 Penzance service that took me from Paddington to Reading in Carriage E, aka 42245. The only thing of note here was another arm rest-hogger who compounded his oafishness by playing Candy Crush for the whole journey like some sulky adolescent Kevin.

Pouting lips when all you can’t do is line up three cherries isn’t a good look mate.

I then changed at Reading for my regular late Frome service and plonked myself down in a very innocent looking Carriage D, aka 42070.

It was just when we left Theale that I heard raised voices in the vestibule and from the bits of conversation I could pick up it seemed that the Train Manager was having a go at a passenger who had tried to leave at Theale but had found that the doors were already locked.

“Well I ain’t paying for a ticket to Thatcham then” said the failed disembarkee to which the TM retorted with some excuse about having already given the signal to the driver to leave.

But obviously this got the TM’s goat somewhat riled as he then stomped into our carriage and demanded to see all tickets. (And it was a “demand” there wasn’t any “asking” about it.)

Now this is very strange. I get my ticket checked every day, usually in the mornings just when I’ve fallen asleep but I’ve never seen a ticket check be carried out 3 minutes from Thatcham and never seen one carried out with such ill grace by such an obviously annoyed TM.

So as we’re all digging into inside pockets and purses for the vital bits of paper, a lady comes walking up the aisle to get to a door ready to leave. She is no doubt absolutely kicking herself now by choosing to come this way as the TM blocked her and demanded her ticket as well.

Well you know what’s going to happen next don’t you. She only had a Reading travel card and Mr Charming decided that this was good enough to not only charge her for a ticket but to also slap on a penalty fare as well. £24 for Reading to Thatcham, a bargain of 10 miles in anyone’s book.

Now look, let me be very clear here. I’m no fan of fare dodgers and I have nothing against TM’s checking tickets or even the Revenue Protection goons which FGW position at the barriers every now and again – although why the pick the most miserable sour faced prunes for this job I don’t know why – but there is a thing called discretion and also a thing called manners and as it became clear from the lady’s story (her car had broken down and she’d found herself stranded in Reading) this was more of an oversight than a deliberate go at fare dodging. Yes, she should of course have bought a ticket, but instead of helping her on what had already been probably a very shitty day, or at least playing fair (fare – geddit!) with her by just charging for a single ticket, the TM was just on autopilot to make an example of the lady and raise some more profits for the FGW shareholders.

The stand off ended when the TM, who had now captured the lady’s travel card and refused to return it, barged past the rest of us who by now were queuing up to leave at Thatcham, yelling how he was “going to make a report” and how he had “every right to keep this travel card”.

Now I don’t know if the lady will make a complaint. I would guess not seeing as, at the end of the day, she was in the wrong and probably knows she’ll get no change out of the wonderful FGW 3 week turnaround complaints system, but I on the other hand certainly will be.

Because whether or not someone has paid or not, they deserve to be treated with dignity, politeness and fairness. Something the majority of the TMs do do, let me again be clear on that point, but for Patrick, (for that was his name) to be so obviously acting only according to his annoyed mood and desperate to “win” the stand off to act in this way was just not right.

Oh, and Patrick, in the unlikely event you read this……saying “madam” to someone does not equal politeness. I’m sure your mum would agree.