42093 – 18:37 Monday 28th April

42093

Good old Sir Peter Parker, now pulling the Frome service (and carriage 44097), rumbled into Platform 7 at Reading dead on time and all that was left for me to do was clamber aboard Carriage C, or 42093 as his friends like to call him.

Other than a group of work colleagues, obviously off on a course (possibly at the Scottish and Southern Electric centre) who thought it was hilarious to be getting off at Thatcham (eh?) I could have done this journey in my sleep. Perhaps I did?

42291 – 17:49 Monday 28th April

42291

It was a slow old start to the week in terms of the Carriage Capture. My morning train, from which I just cannot deviate from my regular Carriage A turned out to be the very first duplicate of the project. 44097 was already in the bag from last Wednesday so I had to wait until this evening to get my first victim of the day.

The 17:49 Worcester Shrub Hill service fitted the bill nicely and my timely arrival at Paddington gave me more than enough time to secure a comfortable window seat in Carriage D, which also went by the name of 42291.

Just before we left I noted the train pulling into Platform 10, guessing that this would form the Frome service which I would be picking up at Reading. It was being pushed by Sir Peter Parker, someone my dad never forgave for subjecting our family to an appalling railway journey from Coventry to Kidwelly. But that’s another story. Still, Sir Peter’s Wikipedia article has a very nice section on the train that is named in his honour.

But more interesting that Sir Peter Parker was noting that Carriage A on this train was none other than 44097 again. What are the chances of that happening? (Actually probably both calculable and predictable, but c’mon, I’m being sad enough already doing this aren't I?)

42344 – 18:37 Friday 25rd April

42344

The 18:37 Frome service was quite a let down after the excitement of the train that got me to Reading.

A half empty and fairly quiet Carriage C saw me home to the start of the weekend and two days where the readers of this blog won’t have to read any pointless drivel-ridden updates. Well you wouldn't want too much of a good thing would you?

Join us again next week for some more carriages, some more unreasonable interaction with fellow humans and more appalling grammar.

42308 – 18:00 Friday 25rd April

42308

Right, I’ll admit it. I was completely, utterly, totally and 100% wrong in one of my last posts. I unreservedly apologise to anyone and everyone, anywhere and everywhere, alive or dead and will never make another generalisation again……(yeah right!)

As I jauntily bounced into Paddington tonight I realised that I’d not yet got a Carriage D for the Carriage Capture. Noting that the 18:00 Bristol Temple Meads service had just been called, some 10 minutes before departure, I therefore thought the chances of me getting a seat in this popular carriage were pretty good. And they were, after a quick snap of 42308 I slotted into a window seat and made myself comfortable, by immediately turning off the VOLO entertainment system.

Still, any chance of peace and quiet was firstly dashed by the bloke speaking to his child about their dinner time, “And what did you have for dinner? Oooh, chicken nuggets, how lovely. Yum Yum.” I mean he could have been speaking to his wife I guess but FFS mate, have a bit of dignity in public can’t you? 

And then some business woman kicked off, ordering her underlings around at gone six in the evening. But by far the worse was the effeminate chap who firstly had a long and extremely tedious conversation with his mother about pizza, “Well, how many are we? I reckon 3 or 4 then? Well I don’t care (yes you do else you wouldn't be rabbiting on about it) but make sure I get a chicken fajita one. Well I don’t mind (yes you do, because you’re making sure the whole carriage knows) but I’ll be there at 7 so get them to deliver at ¼ past……blah blah blah” but as soon as he was done, he then phoned his girlfriend and went through the exact same conversation, “well I’ve told mum to get pizza, well I don’t mind as long as I get chicken fajita……..”

And then just when you thought he was finally going to shut up, the girlfriend rang back as she needed directions to the station to pick Little Lord Fauntleroy up. Our hero then proceeded to give a blow by blow set of instructions that would have put Google Maps to shame.

By the time I got to Reading my ears were bleeding and I had vowed never to enter Carriage D for a long long time. Luckily the very amusing @FGWruinlives posted the funniest thing I've seen in ages and cheered me up no end.

44076 – 06:57 Friday 25rd April

44076

Friday, Friday, so good that day, especially for the trains as all the fair-weather workers have started their long weekends and consequently aren't taking up any precious space in the carriages with their wheelie suitcases, folding Bromptons and rucksacks. Staying true to my mantra of it can only ever be Carriage A for my morning journey I was at first dismayed when capturing the number of 44076 at Paddington as this seemed very familiar and I at first suspected that I had claimed my first duplicate number. But serendipity was with me and a quick check of the blog shows that whilst I have travelled on a couple of carriages in the 440xx series, 44076 is a nice new victim to add to the list.

It should have been an excellent journey as the reduction in travelling numbers had resulted in a double seat and a window berth for yours truly even after stops at Theale (PAH!) and Reading. (I can thoroughly recommend a massive moustache for keeping people away.) But alas I have to report that a weasely phone user disturbed the silent nirvana not only with a ridiculous ring tone but also a lengthy conversation. Well, I say lengthy conversation but what made this disturbance all the more annoying was the fact the bloke in the carriage was certainly the passive participant in the conversation as all he was required to do was say “Yeah….” at suitable pauses so it would have seemed really churlish to approach the man and ask him to shut up. But (and this is the final but) he was winning no fans at all by making each one of these “yeah…” s as annoying as possible by yawning as he said it, or lengthening it to a stupid “yeeeeeaaaaaaaaah” or even doing it in a variety of daft accents.

Anyway, the lovely Jo of @FGW Twitter fame will now be able to enjoy her mid-morning frothy latte all the better now that not only does she know what the heck I’m going on about but also knows that I didn't already have 44076 in the stamp album…….Yeeeeeaaaah!

42293 – 18:15 Thursday 24th April

42293

My arrival at Paddington this evening was somewhat delayed due to a work’s “celebration” where my hard work was literally repaid in peanuts………less said about that, the better.

So thanks to my business enforced tardiness it meant that I’d missed the usual Frome service and had to instead take a train I’d never taken before, namely the 18:15 service to Swansea. Carriage B was my chosen carriage and I made it into the last unreserved seat before the poor late comers had to start standing in the aisle. Just remember kids, your ticket is for the journey, not for a seat.

Disembarkation at Reading showed that the front power car on this particular journey was courtesy of Didcot Railway Centre which is none other than @slowpokesam ‘s favourite wagon. Quite why it’s his favourite he’s never explained, but in tribute to this childlike obsession with choo-choo trains, here’s a picture of it. I mean it’s not like you’d ever catch me logging numbers in a book is it.

The later journey also meant a horrible stupid Turbo from Reading to Thatcham and therefore no third number for the day. 

Stupid Turbos.

44037 – 06:57 Thursday 24rd April

44037

The trains are running disgustingly on time at the moment meaning that my opportunities to winge, carp, moan and complain are being severely curtailed.

So although I don’t have anything earth shattering to report from this morning’s journey, on the upside even though I was rooted firmly in my morning habitat of Carriage A, it was another “new” Carriage A to add to the ever growing collection.

As I’ve no interesting travel news for you, here’s a little bit of a puzzler to think about whilst you all should be working or at the very least watching Jeremy Kyle in your pants. Why, as soon as the Train Manager (TM) has announced the approach to Paddington does all hell break loose in Carriage A? It’s like all the women, and I’m sorry ladies but it is the women, it might be unpopular to say so but evidence backs me up on this (OK, I’ll grant you it’s not ALL the women but it is the case that of ALL the people who do this, they are ALL women)……anyway where was I? Yes, it’s like some women have had their “chat hormones in check for so long they will literally burst unless they utter some inane comment and relieve the pressure building up in their heads. As soon as the TM has finished it’s like a tidal wave of “Oooo, on time today then.” or “quick coffee before the tube I think.”

I wonder if it’s anything to do with the other puzzler of why it is only women (it is, it is, it is! Don’t care what you say, it is!) who have deeply personal conversations on trains? That’s not to say men aren’t loud, boring and annoying when on the phone on trains, they are of course, but their conversations are either; a) about work – boring, willy-waving, look how powerful and vital to my business I am conversations or b) about meeting people – “Yeah, see you in the Bishop’s Mitre at 7. Is Stink-Finger and Tankman coming? Nice one. See ya.”

Women, gawd bless their shiny high heels, will quite openly discuss a friend’s hysterectomy, a neighbour’s mental breakdown, a colleague’s attempted suicide or how horrible next door’s kids are with equal gay abandonment and complete oblivion to those around them who are wondering if they have ever heard of the word discretion.

I’m off now to talk about my mother-in-law’s colonic irrigation……fancy a chat?