Wednesday 30 July 2014

42570 17:45 Wednesday 30th July

42570



Although there was only a single Carriage Capture today, all of my trains today ran on time, so congratulations to FGW for meeting your contractual obligations as far as I was concerned today.

In fact things ran so smoothly I made it onto the 17:45 Swansea service into 42570 which is one of the new Carriage E’s. Due to the smooth journey to Reading I nearly made the earlier train home but my Commonwealth Games standard sprint from Platform 10 to Platform 1 only gained me the sight of the 18:12 disappearing into the distance. I therefore had to capture the carriage with a long distance lens and make do with a wait on Platform 7 by taking another photo of Luke with a new colleague called David.

David

David, as one will note and he won’t mind me saying this, is slightly more mature than the usual young bum-fluffed (including the ladies) Ambassador. So keen was David to take up his position as an Ambassador and spend his days hanging around the concrete monstrosity that is Reading Station that he gave up his job on the board of ICI and has never been happier.

In his spare time you can find David in his garden shed which houses the largest collection of “dirty” Victorian postcards in Europe. David created his own unique cataloging system to put the 43,000 cards in order and he’s finding this is coming in useful when knowing which train is due into which platform. Although he has this extensive collection he’s still after the ultra-rare “Butler Frottage” card from 1843. If you happen to have one lying around be sure to slip it into his pocket the next time you see him.

Tuesday 29 July 2014

42505 18:30 Tuesday 29th July



42505

I got on a train. It was cancelled. I got home late.

@FGW tell me things are improving.

I am going to bed.

Monday 28 July 2014

42068 & 42039 – 07:57 & 19:03 Monday 28rd July




















42068 & 42039


OK, let’s get the trains out the way with first.

I caught the 07:57 from Reading into Paddington this morning and sat in Carriage B, 42068, next to one of the most ungracious bag-seat hogger people I’ve ever come across.

On the way home, I was on the 19:03 to Plymouth and somehow managed to bag a double seat in Carriage D, 42039 whilst everyone else seemed to be sitting on each other’s laps.

Now the observant amongst you will have instantly thought to yourselves, “but hey, BGC, why on earth were you taking a morning train from Reading? And 07:57, that’s usually the time you’re in London and looking fabulous on the tube?”

And the simple answer to this is every commuter’s nightmare – you arrive at the station and every single train is marked as “Cancelled” or “Delayed” and the only thing you can hear is FGW’s unapologetic pre-recorded apology recording.

The reasons behind this almost daily debacle range from the sublime to the ridiculous. Apparently there were signalling issues in Newbury (honestly, at the moment it’s like all the stations are taking turns in having this sort of problem) but also a dead body had been found in a tunnel between Bristol and Bath.
And who told me of this rather macabre discovery?

Why none other than Nice Peter, the shaggy and rather scruffy ticket office man at Thatcham station.

Peter is a lovely bloke and quite obviously doesn’t get the support he deserves from the rest of the FGW rumbling machine. Firstly whenever there is any sort of issue he leaves the protection of his bullet proof glass box and wanders up and down the platform explaining the situation as he knows it to the waiting passengers. He also addresses us all as “gang” – “Hi gang, ‘fraid to say that I’ve got nothing coming through for the next hour at least” he’ll say with the tail of his crumpled shirt hanging out.

He also speaks to every person approaching his ticket box and tells them what’s going on. So it was rather strange to hear immediately after him telling someone that as far as he knew there were no trains and there were busses on the way, the warning claxon of the barriers being lowered on the level crossing. Turns out that there was a rogue turbo on its way to Reading that we could all jump on and at least continue our disrupted journeys from there. Poor Peter, trying his hardest and keeping everyone as calm as possible and yet kept in the dark just as much as the rest of us mushrooms.

I was somewhat disappointed there to see then that my tweet in praise of Nice Peter not be “favourited” or “re-tweeted” by @FGW.



Mind you, they were very very busy, giving terse replies, such as this one, to their beloved customers.



EXCELSIOR!

Oh, last minute P.S. – I’ve just been followed by @FGWBPW, the Ambassadors from Bristol. Oi, Brizzle Ambassadors, send Peter a nice purple waistcoat will you? He’d be even better talking to his “gang” with his shirt under control!

Sunday 27 July 2014

42043 23:30 Thursday 24th July


42043

As Rowley Birkin QC might have said, “…..and I did catch the train, but I’m afraid I was very, very drunk.”

The train in question included 42043 which was Carriage B on the 23:30.

That is all.


Wednesday 23 July 2014

40755 & 42145 – 18:05 Wednesday 23rd July


















40755 & 42145

Are you reading this FGW? Well yes they were and at least Ollie, ever the gentleman, seemed to recognise the debacle of yesterday’s journey.



This morning was another duplicate, even though I risked the wrath of a gazillion and seven disembarking passengers and managed to get an action shot as I stumbled out of the door.

This evening though was another roister-doister of an exciting evening as when I arrived at Paddington, thinking I would be too late for the 18:05 Frome Service, I was delighted to see it still stuck at Platform 10 as if waiting for my grand entrance.

I made a less than grand entrance into the 1st class carriages and found myself amongst the cast of the Uruk-hai as we all struggled for space in the vestibules. Seeing that it was pointless in trying to get a seat, I settled for the next best thing, a standing position in Carriage K which meant that my second 1st class carriage, 40755 went into the book.

I have to say that the Train Manager was doing a sterling job is carrying stacks and stacks of bottled water around, giving them out to the sweltering orc hordes. I tried to catch her name badge so I can give her full credit in the blog but could only make the end of the name, so it was either Jenny, or Benny, or even Lenny…….?

Once we’d let off most of the goblins at Twyford I made my way into Carriage B, 42145 and slumped into a free space for the rest of the journey. It was here when the TM made the announcement when we left Reading that it turned out her name was Denny.

So Denny, many many thanks for the water and just make sure you don’t wash your red undies with your FGW white blouse next time. The pinkish tinge quite suited you though.

Oh, and if you're wondering whether there was another debacle tonight, all I know is that when we left Paddington (10 minutes late) Platforms 4 & 5 were both suffering signal problems......Are you reading.....oh never mind......

Tuesday 22 July 2014

42252 18:03 Tuesday 22nd July

42252


Remember yesterday? When I gambled on the “first train to Reading” and it so nearly ended in disaster? Well surely the same thing couldn’t happen twice could it?

Arriving at Paddington at the same time as yesterday I noticed that the 18:00 Bristol service was already cancelled (are you reading FGW?) so this left me the choice of whether to gamble again on the 18:03 to Penzance or wait for the 18:05 Frome service and go straight through to my home station.

As I say, it surely couldn’t help twice could it?

Well for a moment I thought it could well do as we left late again (are you reading FGW?) and what with the overspill from the cancelled 18:00 getting aboard this one it was a right old crowded, sitting in the aisles, non-working air con mess of a train in particular 42252 which was the Carriage E where I was positioned. (Are you reading FGW?)

All was fine as we steamed towards Reading especially as I knew we were definitely ahead of the 18:05, but exactly how much ahead wasn’t clear until I disembarked and gathered from fellow tweeting travellers that the 18:05 had broken down just outside Acton. (Are you reading FGW?)

There was no way I could have got this info from the station staff at Reading as the bloke on the announcements had obviously decided to do his shift wearing a snorkel parka and a balaclava helmet (are you reading FGW?) and for all I knew he could have been reading out his shopping list.

Anyway by the time the clock had completed its long drawn out journey to 19:12 I could at least take the Turbo to Thatcham and arrive home just over ½ hour late (are you reading FGW?) but pity the poor people trapped aboard the 18:05 who still weren’t moving by the time I left. (Are you reading FGW?)

When I arrived at Thatcham I was greeted by the automated station voice who in her own stylish non-apologetic way sais – “we’re sorry to announce the Frome service is delayed by 72 minutes.” – 72 MINUTES! (ARE YOU READING FGW?)

I only hope all the passengers aboard were given the free drink FGW are obliged to serve for all delays over an hour.

Oh, remember I started collecting Ambassadors? Well guess who was on Reading station with nothing to do (no trains you see – are you reading FGW?) none other than our old friend Luke and this time accompanied by a sturdy looking fella called Grahame. As I say both looked slightly at loose ends and what with all traffic between Reading and Paddington having to tiptoe around the stranded 18:05 they’d have done better putting the kettle on for the next hour.



Never mind – It’s jam tomorrow!

Monday 21 July 2014

42069 18:37 Monday 21st July

42069

This morning’s train escaped my notice and my camera when I decided on a smartish walk for the tube rather than hang around like the lurking spotter I am fast becoming and try to take a photo of the number.

Tonight, however, it was full of thrills and excitement when my usual tactic of “jump on the first train to Reading” (Copywrite 2012 BGC) nearly backfired on me. The first train in tonight’s episode was the 18:03 Penzance service and I was safely aboard Carriage E, 42333 (a duplicate) but the service didn’t start going anywhere until 18:08 when the driver finally decided to turn up and do his job.

There are rumours that the delay was caused by him being served a cup of tea made with a non-union teabag and served in a non-ASLEF mug. The only option of course was to walk out in a fit of pique with all members of TGWU coming out in sympathy.

Anyway in case you were all wondering where this was leading, this delay meant that the train I usually meet at Reading was now ahead of us. I was hoping the stop of Twyford that the other train must make would allow us to overtake but alas no, we crawled through Twyford at the rate of a drunken snail and I only had the sight of @emily1780 “waving” me goodbye.



Luckily all was saved by the FGW phone app which allowed me to note that whilst we were pulling into Reading on Platform 7 about 6 minutes late, my connection was being held on Platform 9. Springing up the escalators like a demented and rather overweight gazelle I emerged just in time to throw myself into Carriage C, 42069 and even had time to open the door for a blonde dreadlocked gentleman whose gazelle impression was even more overweight than mine.

Alas there were two chaps who must have been doing gnu impressions rather than gazelles as they arrived just as the doors locked. “Oh this is pathetic” one moaned “you’ll hold this one just outside the station to let that one overtake” – And indeed that’s exactly what happened. Still I hope the dispatch chaps reply of “I don’t care, it’s locked now,” went someway to softening the blow.

P.S. Just in case anyone is questioning the accuracy of this blog it turned out the blonde gentleman didn’t have dreadlocks, but actually had blonde braids. Happy now?



Thursday 17 July 2014

40107 18:30 Wednesday 16th July

40107

Today (17th of July) the Queen is visiting the all new, all singing and dancing, all made of cheap wriggly tin leaky roof, Reading Station.

She is arriving by car which isn’t at all a subliminal message on the state of the trains.

I would love to be in the crowds, being kettled by some scruffy bunch of G4S security baboons, but in a strange quirk of last minute business affairs I will instead be winging my way to Zurich, where they don’t have a queen.

Anyway, I hope she enjoys her visit and that all the escalators are working, after all Phil is knocking on a bit now isn’t he.

Last night I travelled on 40107 which was Carriage F on the 18:30 to Weston Super Mare.

Tuesday 15 July 2014

44014 & 42098 – 06:57 & 18:30 Tuesday 15th July



















44014 & 42098

Today I got two trains and two entries in the Carriage Capture little black book.

44014 was Carriage A on my morning 06:57 service and 42098 was a Carriage D on a later than normal evening service.

You may now all go and do something more interesting.

Monday 14 July 2014

42559 18:05 Monday 14th July

42559

It was not a good day for FGW……..seriously, not a good day.

Basically every single signal point across the network exploded at some point during the day and delays and cancellations were the order of departure boards up and down the country. Ah, but that’s not FGW’s fault is it, I hear you cry. Well, no, it isn’t, not directly anyway but do they help themselves curry favour with their customers when things do go wrong?

Well let me give you an example and I’ll let you decide.

I managed to make it aboard the 18:05 Frome Service and got myself a nice window seat in 42559 which was another one of the new refurbished Carriage Fs. All well and good I think until that most dreaded of all announcements rings around the train. – “Will the Train Manager please contact the driver.”
Turns out that the signals controlling some of the platforms have gone for a Burton meaning we all have to decamp from this train on Platform 10 and run around to Platform 5 where there’s another “set” waiting for us.

“OK, is that all you’re moaning about? For gawd’s sake, things do go wrong you know!”

And I wholeheartedly agree with you, things do go wrong and 99.9% of passengers know and realise this and aren’t the foul mouth louts that the train companies like to portray us on the TV. 

So what is it I’m moaning about? 

OK, so if I was in charge of this relatively minor disruption I would have got all my station staff to guide people from one platform to the other and maybe get them talking to the passengers as they transferred. “This way please ladies and gents, many apologies for this but please come through this short cut to the replacement train, again many apologies for the disruption.”

But no, that would be too difficult wouldn’t it and would require a small iota of empathy with this company’s life-blood. So what did they do? They lined the platform with blokes with whistles, who then proceeded to constantly blew them like they were herding sheep. There was no interaction or eye contact with the passengers, no recognition that this bunch of inconvenienced people where probably the same people who were stuck on train and at stations during this morning’s signal failures, no shred of understanding for anyone who perhaps had to do the multi-platform switcheroo with luggage, pushchairs, crutches or all three.

Look, I know they can’t lay on a liveried porter service that would grace the Orient Express, but for gawd’s sake don’t stand around like a demented drill sergeant, peeping a whistle like you life depended on it.

Seriously, don't do that.

Sunday 13 July 2014

44083, 42268 & 42006 – 07:15, 17:49 & 18:37 Friday 11th July




44083, 42268 & 42006

No, no, I’ve not been travelling on a Sunday, this is just the catch up from Friday’s commuting escapades which to be honest didn’t really amount to much.

There was 44083, Carriage A on the morning train and 42268 & 42006, a Carriage C and a Carriage E respectively on the way home.

Look, I never said this was going to be interesting did I!


Thursday 10 July 2014

40111 & 42048 – 18:00 & 18:37 Thursday 10th July


40111 & 42048

I’m too damn knackered after yesterday’s late night to write some sort of Scandinavian saga today but suffice it to say that I travelled on 40111, Carriage F to Reading and the 42048, Carriage D to Thatcham.

The only exciting thing was watching some young titty-head with lots more money than sense and definitely more bags than sense drag all his worldly possessions down a carriage and then create himself a sort of fort construction most of us stopped doing at age ten when our mums demanded we take the sheets off the dining room table.



Still, me old tweet compatriots The Colonel (@ACursedCommuter) and Legs!! (@bookwormbett) knew the score.



42288 23:30 Wednesday 9th July

42288
 
 
 
It was another morning train in reverse formation which makes the obtaining of the picture all the more difficult every time it happens. I just can’t risk life and limb being crushed under the stampeding hordes as they dash for the exits or find myself pinioned against the cycle racks at Paddington.

I did make a vague effort to video the number as I sailed past but the results were less than impressive and best consigned to the bin.

The return journey was also less than impressive.

Paddington to Reading was fine, albeit rather tired and sleepy as the Oranges and Lemons tour has been reinvigorated and there I was catching the last train home in what they call a tired and emotional state. The 23:30 to Bristol Temple Meads service was almost empty and Carriage B, 42288, provided a comfortable setting for half the journey home.

The second half though wasn’t as brilliant though as it was a replacement bus service which was leaving from “the north exit” as the PA system repeatedly squawked to all and sundry. Now I’ve been sailing through Reading Station for just over 3 years now on a daily basis and I’ve never heard any of the exits being referred to by any of the cardinal directions, never mind “north”, “west” or even “south by south-east”.

I went to the bus stop outside the front of the station, which is where every rail replacement bus since time began has left from but I think David Attenborough discovered more life in some African desert than there was here. I did bump into one smartly dishevelled man who was looking as lost as I felt and we soon established ourselves as kindred spirits trying to find out where this bus was.
We searched desperately for someone to ask but the station concourse was bereft of any FGW staff and apart from the Network Rail engineers and the girls in Tutti Fruitti coffee shop, who were both asked, we were no nearer locating the bus and as the persistent PA announcements were declaring, the bus was going to depart any minute.

A lack of options saw us sprinting across the bridge to the new exit (yes, apparently, this IS the “north exit”) and just about make it onto the departing bus by the skin of our joint teeth.
Quite why there either wasn’t a person directing people to this obviously well known “north exit” or at the very least a big sign with a helpful arrow I still can’t work out, but no doubt this saved Marky Mark part of someone’s wage or the cost of some marker pens so it’s all good?

Just as a friendly Post Script, my newly found lost friend turned out to be a lawyer and possibly the poshest person I’ve ever spoken to. And I don’t mean anything negative in that at all. He was witty and amusing and very complimentary to my blue trousers and yellow shoes, it was like chatting to an intelligent version of Tim Nice-But-Dim.

Tuesday 8 July 2014

42362 18:03 Tuesday 8th July


42362

After yesterday’s excitement on the Carriage Capture today was a complete let down. There was a single capture on the way home with 42362 going in the book, although a nice snap of the number on the VOLO TV control system is always a delight.

There were no Ambassadors anywhere to be seen so this particular little black book remains almost empty. At least good old Leo was on had with possibly the finest quip seen on the FGW twitter feed so far……


Monday 7 July 2014

42564 18:37 Monday 7th July


42564

In terms of the Carriage Capture it was a day of mixed fortunes.

The hustle and bustle of the disembark from the morning train at Paddington meant that I wasn’t in a position to get a snap of the number and thinking that it was probably going to be a duplicate anyway I found myself in a complete state of indifference I wandered away without noting anything down at all.

The return journey was a bit more interesting. Firstly Carriage F on the 18:03 Penzance Service had obviously only recently become a Carriage F by the evidence of the hastily placed letter stickers on the ends of the carriage. My records show that I’d already been in 42014 when it was a Carriage B in a former life back in May.

42014 - Now appearing as Carriage F

Getting off at Reading was made marginally more amusing when I spotted this professor of ingenuity ensuring that every journey with FGW meant a journey with a seat. I say hats off to this fella and Leo seems to agree with me.




The 18:37 Frome Service was similarly made marginally more interesting when it looks like this is another new refurbished carriage (a Carriage E) as its number, 42564 doesn’t appear on my list of numbers. Another question I’ll have to ping Ollie’s way before my logging system become too far out of kilter.
Finally if this morning’s lacklustre effort at capturing the carriage makes me suspect I’m getting slightly jaded with the Carriage Capture then my new found fan base amongst the FGW Ambassadors (shout out to @fgw_cdfcentral and @fgwcardiff) might provide the inspiration for a new collection scheme, Ambassador Capture!

Tonight victim is Luke, who I spotted lurking on Platform 7 at Reading.


Luke, 23, has just graduated from Lincoln University with a 2:1 in Contemporary Archaeology but always knew he wanted to work in the travel industry after fond memories of countless camping holidays in Skegness. Luke was known by the nickname of “Chippy” whilst undergoing his training as an Ambassador with FGW because he was always hooving up any left over chips in the FGW canteen. His ambition with FGW is to make an announcement over the in-train on-board PA system telling passengers that “this is a peak time service and anyone with an off-peak ticket will be forcibly disembarked at Taplow without their luggage.”

Jesus, I’m so bored. Someone take me out for a drink…….

Friday 4 July 2014

42561 & 42518 – 18:00 & 18:37 Friday 4th July



















42561 & 42518

Hello Houston, we have a problem……….

Well it has been a pretty abysmal week for commuting but this particular problem wasn’t caused by anything unpleasant and that includes all the smelly freaksters who think it’s acceptable to remove your shoes on public transport! Yeah, looking at you, high heel business women…..if you can’t hack ‘em, don’t wear ‘em!

As I clambered aboard the 18:00 Bristol service to make my way home tonight I got onto Carriage F for the only reason that I was desperate for a wee and this was the nearest standard class carriage to the barriers. After composing myself I took a seat in said Carriage F (or 42561) and noticed how clean and bright everything was looking. From the carpets to the seats to the paper antimacassars, everything looked brand new. This theme even continued to the carriage number which looked so new it almost smelt of fresh wet paint.

I wondered if this was one of the former 1st Class Carriages that have been refurbished for Standard Class use and these suspicions seem to have been confirmed as Jess’s list of carriage numbers that she forwarded to me what seems like a half a life time ago (remember those days, when she used to answer my tweets and mails……ah that golden summer of our shared youth) doesn’t include this number.

So this rather puts a hefty iron bar in the spokes unless I can find out which number was transformed into 42561. I reckon this is a case for none other than the unsung hero of FGW, the Oll-Finder General and this really will be a test to see if he does read the blog…….

The journey was finalised aboard 42518 which was Carriage E on the Frome service where things didn’t look so new and shiny, but better than the carriages did when I tweeted this a few days ago.



The strange thing about this tweet is that it was picked up by two new followers who look to be some of FGW’s purple great coat wearing lovelies, who I believe are known as Ambassadors. Both seem to work out of Cardiff which means our paths with probably never cross, but unless Jess pulls her finger out she might find herself replaced! So @fgw_cdfcentral and @fgwcardiff this entry is dedicated to you in all your purple coated splendor!

Thursday 3 July 2014

41108 & 42095 – 07:30 & 18:37 Thursday 3rd July




















41108 & 42095

Another first for the Carriage Capture today and all down to a cancelled train.

I mentioned the other day that the first thing I do in the morning is check my train times app on the phone and make sure my usual morning transportation is running. This morning all seemed to be well and it was until I actually got to the station and discovered that a signalling issue somewhere west of Newbury meant that my train had just been cancelled.

The stupid Turbo that took us all to Reading wasn’t as rammed as I’d feared and it reached the station precisely on time to meet the 07:30 coming from somewhere and going to Paddington. This one was rammed but I wasn't too dismayed as I found myself in the vestibule of a First Class Carriage, in this case 41108 Carriage L, and felt this was a perfect opportunity to get my first 1st carriage on the board.

The return journey wasn’t so exciting with a duplicate carriage to Reading and 42095 to Thatcham which was a comfortable if unremarkable Carriage D.

Wednesday 2 July 2014

42200 & 42115 – 18:00 & 18:37 Wednesday 2nd July



















42200 & 42115

My action photo tactic didn’t work so well today, as I disembarked from the morning train. Not a massive issue as the carriage was a duplicate, but it was 44040 which was the one I’d failed to photo the other day so a quick snap would have come in rather handy.

No such problems snapping 42200 which was Carriage C on my train to Reading and subsequently 42115 which was Carriage D on my train to Thatcham.

Did anything happen on either journey?

Well there was a cyclist who apart from stinking of the mandatory stale sweat stench they all reek of just made a huge show of everything he did. Helmet off – CLIP, LIFT, SWING AROUND THE HEAD, PACK AWAY IN BAG. Kindle out – BAG OPEN, RAISE, TURN ON, COUGH, READ. May I get out – OF COURSE YOU CAN, STAND, PUT AWAY TABLE, STAND ASIDE, THANK YOU!

44026 & 42261 – 06:57 & 18:45 Tuesday 1st July



















44026 & 42261

Although the train journeys themselves were uneventful and mundane, today was notable for two “firsts” on the Carriage Capture.

Firstly I managed to circumvent the photo taking conundrum which faces me every morning as we reach Paddington.

In order to ensure I get a seat in the mornings and to satisfy my compulsive need to stand on the same bit of platform every day I don’t get the chance to take a photo of the carriage number before boarding. When we pull into Paddington I can either attempt to stop the crushing flow of disembarking busy business people crowding out the door to take the snap and risk a sever tutting at or I have to do what I’ve been doing until now which is double-back on myself and walk half way up the carriage to get the external number shot. This action both wastes time and potentially make me look like a titty spotter knobby.

Today I tried something which for some unknown reason I hadn’t thought about before which was to try to take the photo “on the move” as I squeezed out of the carriage door. So the portrait of 44026 at the top of this post is the “first” ever action shot on the blog. When you consider I’ve normally got the steady hands of a 40 a day alcoholic I’m actually quite delighted with the results.

The second “first” (?) actually happened when I’d already arrived home, thanks to 42261 which was playing the role of Carriage B on the 18:45 to Swansea. The lady who sat next to me on this trip was drinking a bottle of something described on the label as “pink lemonade” although from the colour it could just have easily been a bottle of Windolene.

But the colour of this potion wasn’t as off-putting as the smell which was like strong Red Bull laced with liquid sugar and a large dollop of honey for good measure.

Ever wanting to be the one to share the joys of my commute, I tweeted this happening which was then picked up by some bunch of Snake Oil salesmen who thought they’d try to pique my interest in whatever it is they are peddling this particular week. This led to an amusing exchange of tweets (well I thought it funny anyway) and is the very first time I’d been directly spammed over Twitter.




All in all, an interesting couple of carriages.